(Entertainment Experiment – 2010)
Type: Album

Recorded by Doug

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Lyrics:

Tank vs. Spaceship
My face is made of fire and I refuse to put it out
In a world, so filled certainty, hello my name is doubt
I am a necrophiliac in a world where no one dead
at the running of the bulls I am the guy wearing red
We are gonna take you to hell
We are gonna take you to hell
Tank vs. Spaceship
Wooo! Yeah! Ah-ha!
Wooo! Yeah! Ah-ha!
I’m on route one doing 55 in an aeroplane
I’m on Lithium in a world that has gone insane
I am the zombie king made from stolen parts
I’m the wobbly-wheel on all your shopping carts
We are gonna take you to hell
We are gonna take you to hell
Tank vs. Spaceship
Wooo! Yeah! Ah-ha!
Wooo! Yeah! Ah-ha!
Stow away on the Mayflower to sleep with all your wives
I’m a hemophiliac in a room made out of knives
I am the one true god and you are my monster flock
Rock-Rockin’ Rockity-Rock-Rock Rock-Rock Rock-Rock-Rock
We are gonna take you to hell
We are gonna take you to hell
Tank vs. Spaceship
Wooo! Yeah! Ah-ha!
Wooo! Yeah! Ah-ha!

Rock, Staple, Scissors
Glue stick and a cup of coffee
Exacto knives and photocopies
DIY, go go go
Let’s promote our all age show
Rock! Staple! Rock!
Kinko’s copies and a staple gun
Flyer boards, hit everyone
Munjoy Hill to St. John Street
Rip ’em down 3 times a week
Presumpscot to the Civic Center
White Heart and Apartment Renters
Covered every poster I hung
Beat you to death with a staple gun
Hey Portland!
Whatcho got, Whatcho got?
Hey Portland!
Whatcho got, Whatcho got?
We got fun and we got action
Hey Portland!
Whatcho got, Whatcho got?
We’ve got Rock!

Fire in the Basement
Fire in the Basement! Fire in the Basement!
Fire in the basement, if we just ignore it…
If we just ignore it it will go away
It seems as we get older and learn all the rules
All the rules are written so you can only lose
If you decide to stand up, you’ll have to pay a tax on feet
If you try and sit down, they’ll put a tax on your feet
Fire in the Basement! Fire in the Basement!
Fire in the basement, if we just ignore it…
If we just ignore it it will go away
Seems that on my dieing day as I look out on the land
I see a wall of stones that a younger man began
I see the notes and papers and the documents that I signed
They tell the story of how I lived and how I was aligned
Fire in the Basement! Fire in the Basement!
Fire in the basement, if we just ignore it…
If we just ignore it it will go away
Since I watched the world collapse and looked the other way
There is little chance that my soul it can be saved
Factories now condos and shops are all board up
Dig in, dig deep, and never give up
The war it isn’t over, the war can still be won
Set an example for your neighbor, daughter or your son
Broken bells ring out for opportunity
To grab the bull by the horns and fight for community
Fire in the Basement! Fire in the Basement!
Fire in the basement, if we just ignore it…
If we just ignore it it will go away

God Damn the Queen
One legged man dooms with his left foot
His red hairs now white
Looking back the coast disappears
Eyes closed skip a stone
We left on Friday, the day of Christ
Barrels and bags all turned black
The Comorant calls the Cracken
The Cracken! The Cracken!
Church bell’s ring clear out to sea
Singing glass St. Elmo’s Fire
Dolphins no longer fill the sea
Ships bells ring from the D.O.W.
Where only sharks dare
Feather of a wren and baby’s caul
The Comorant calls the Cracken
The Cracken! The Cracken!
Neptune is jealous that I look so good
Throw the mop overboard
Repair the flag on the quarterdeck
Throw the priest overboard
Tonight we dine on gull and albatross
Wear his clothes now eat his soul
God Damn The Queen

The Night That Portland Burned
I am the flame that you tried to hide
I freed something that was locked inside
I think I smell somethin’
I think I hear somethin’
Couldn’t you hear? Could you see? Could you feel?
The night that Portland burned to the ground
I couldn’t stop, couldn’t run, couldn’t see
The night that Portland burned to the ground
It didn’t make a sound
Until it hit the ground
I am the flame that you tried to hide
I freed something that was locked inside
I think I see it
BURN!! BURN!! BURN!!
I think I’ll watch it
BURN!! BURN!! BURN!!
Isn’t it queer that the date and the year
Matched the exact time that Portland burned?
With great speed where the fire meets the sea
Let the families grieve
The night that Portland burned
It didn’t make a sound
Until it touched the ground
Sick in the head
Sawdust breads all were fed
For the entire span that Portland burned
Nothing else was
No whys just because
With the dullest thuds
The night that Portland burned
It didn’t make a sound
Until it hit the ground

The Girl With The Octopus Arms
The Girl with the Octopus arms
The Girl with the Octopus arms
Instead of normal arms, she had Octopus arms
The Girl with the Octopus arms
She grew up on my street
She always looked so chic
I’d wear a t-shirt
She’d wear an eight-t-shirt
Because she had octopus arms
The Girl with the Octopus arms
The Girl with the Octopus arms
She’ll squeeze you so tight
But she means you no harm
The Girl with the Octopus arms
When I hit a certain age
My hormones began to rage
Try as I might
Everything wrong felt right
’bout the Girl with the Octopus arms
The Girl with the Octopus arms
The Girl with the Octopus arms
She’ll break all you bones
But she means you no harm
The Girl with the Octopus arms
I’ll impress her with an invention
No doubt about my intentions
I need an orange, a door hinge
A little awesome, a little boring
For the Girl with the Octopus arms
The Girl with the Octopus arms
The Girl with the Octopus arms
She’ll puree your guts
But she don’t mean no harm
The Girl with the Octopus arms
I finally gave her my gift
She looked up at me kind of miffed
She said “Listen up, two-arms
I don’t mean you no harm
I only date guys with Octopus arms”
The Girl with the Octopus arms
The Girl with the Octopus arms
She’ll break your heart
But she don’t mean no harm
The Girl with the Octopus arms
I could not contain my sorrow
Feeling like a hat full of hollow
I’ll never love again
“Hey Doug, who’s your friend?
Does that girl have Black Holes for Eyes?”
The Girl with Black Holes for Eyes
The Girl with Black Holes for Eyes
She’s got ten snakes as hairdos
“The love of my life, Dude!”
The Girl with Black Holes for Eyes

The Black Grimace
From lowest wage a loathsome tale
Of burgers fries and Holy Grails
A greasy black Phantasm stirs
Between two worlds in forms then blurs
In spoiled milk and forgotten lore
Quoth the Grimace “Nevermore!”
On floors unkempt and halls unclean
Its moans drown out by cash machines
But in the night you might here its call
In quiet stockrooms and bathroom stalls
In swinging lamp and creaking door
Quoth the Grimace “Nevermore!”
Through filth and foul and meal of worms
Through special sauces thick with germs
His vileness seeps through your pours
In stomach muscles clenched and sore
Quoth the Grimace “Nevermore!”
So listen well naive petites
In search of quick and easy treats
Think twice before you cram your maws
You too may be in the snapping jaws
Of an evil beast, fat and forlorn
Quoth the Grimace “Nevermore!”
He’s the Black Grimace
Hands in a grim fist
Eyes red and lidless
Void of all forgiveness
Behold his fatness
Reel at his blackness
You’re on his shit list
Hail the Black Grimace!

Drive This Seven Inch Wooden Stake Through My Portland Heart (AKA “The Taco Song”)
We just had the night of our lives
Hi-fives and stage dives
It’s time for bed, but I’m not ready
Hey dudes, let’s go to Denny’s
Tonight! Alright!
Late Night Tacos at M-M-M-Midnight
Fist Fight! Light Brite!
Late Night Tacos at M-M-M-Midnight
We get the booth in the far back corner
A Diet Coke and you can call the coroner
It’s not my first choice but its something to do
It’s something to eat and it’s something to chew
Like a snake eating its own tail
A whale eating another whale
It’s deep fried and it’s on sale
Sadness-Nuggets with Dipping-Fail
I can feel my esophagus burning
Stomach muscles are ch-ch-churning
I’m getting really light headed
I’d eat shit if it were lightly breaded

I’ve Got a Rockin’ Disease (and Rockin’s the Cure)
Doctor! Rock n Roll Doctor!
I got a ringing in my ear and it just won’t go away
Doctor! Evil Science Doctor!
I need your help and promise you won’t kill me, okay?
I’ve Got a Rockin’ Disease and Rockin’s the Cure
Doctor! This time a different Doctor!
Could it be tinnitus or did Spiderlady bite us, oh no!
Doctor! Red Cross Helicopter!
Hawkeye and Pierce, we have been here for years, oh yeah!
Doctor! Neighborhood Witch Doctor!
The whole kitten caboodle, who do voodoo we do, I do!
Doctor, Mississippi Swamp Doctor!
My ear drum stopped and the ringing finally stopped, about time!

Swampman 3
One night I was out walking
Just on the outside of town
I met a man made of pure hatred
And he wore snakes as his crown
I am swamp man
I am green
I will take your women
And rape your dreams
You could tell he was not of the living
And he sure as hell wasn’t dead
Before he struck me down with his mighty sword
These are the words that he said
I am swamp man
I am green
I will take your women
And rape your dreams
But I am not evil
I was made this way
I have tasted the blood
Prepare for doomsday!!!